Goldschlager

Four score and seven years ago..... I had a blog.  Poop and Hiccups.  I created this blog when I was in the depths of raising my two little boys - who are now 8 and 6.  There was a brief turn of events and a few years ago I started documenting another little journey I was taking.... and that ended suddenly.  Where in the world have I been...?  Right here.  Right.  Here.

It just struck me today as I was doing a little work... What in the world am I doing with my life?  From the time that this blog began to now.... Everything has changed, yet everything is the same.  We have built a beautiful home and as of tomorrow exactly, the first day of spring, this will be the 3rd year we have lived in this home.  We have grown to a family of five!  We had a little girl baby in November 2017.  She is almost 17 months old and has shown us the final piece of the puzzle we didn't know that we were missing.  She can be the most kindhearted, loving little girl that melts your heart when she wraps her arms around your neck.  She can also be a little tyrant that knows what she wants when she wants it and her noises will pierce your ear drums.  If she doesn't want you in her personal space, she will let you know and I respect her completely for that.  I don't really like to be touched.

Today, while I sat wondering what was missing, one of the very first things that popped into my head was writing.  I've heard from a random smattering of people that I should write a book.  Doesn't that sound like a lovely opportunity?  Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea where I would ever begin.  I do love to write.  I know I make some mistakes and I secretly fear that my high school English teacher will print off everything I've written and read it at home with a red pen.  Even now, I just looked back and decided to delete an extra comma.  I remember so clearly in high school being told that I use too many commas.  Mistakes will likely be made and I apologize in advance.

So up from the chair I arose and down at the computer I sat.  Everything has changed but everything is the same.  Poop and Hiccups began as I was telling some of the unbelievable stories of raising these two boys through potty training and all of the other hiccups that life, and mom life, throw at you.  Last night, another blast from the past slapped me in the face as I was presented with the lovely phenomenon of a little girl baby who seemed extra gassy during her evening bath which resulted in a lovely little present being left in the tub.  Enter: Clorox Bleach.  One of my favorite descriptors of this joyous occurrence I picked up from my sister-in-law who has her own awesome little boy baby.  She told me that her little boy seems to love to go #2 in the tub and she said it's like Goldschlager.  Goldschlager!  If anyone doesn't know Goldschalger, it is a type of liqueur with very thin flakes of gold floating in it.  Need I say more?  I'm betting you don't want me to go on.  If only those little flakes floating around my tub were gold.  Mom friends, you know... that's not gold.

The adventures this life takes us on are wild - whether it's an adventure we decided that we would go on or one that a little baby left in your tub for you.  Sometimes I have a hard time finding the light and humor in these moments, but I hope to always look back and shake my head with a chuckle.  What in the world am I doing...?

Christ Walk - Day Nine

Goooood news, dear friends...!  I walked at 2:30 today!  It was such a treat to get back outside and have a leisurely walk instead of a 9:30 pm treadmill adventure.  I'm happy I got my walking done earlier in the day.  It freed up my night and we had a great family evening in this beautiful weather.

I wasn't going to post anything but feel like even a little something is better than nothing - just to keep with my routine.  So here's what I'm going to say...

I mentioned earlier how I feel like the pages are written as I open them.... I just wrote about goals last night and how they change.  Day Nine had to say the following - "The giving and doing of a Christ-centered life is a lifelong endeavor that will evolve and change."

The final scripture for the day said - "When you walk, your step will not be hampered; and if you run, you will not stumble." - Proverbs 4:12

Sure feels like Day Nine was written for me.

Short and sweet.

Christ Walk - Day Eight

Last night, by the time I had gotten the kids to bed, it was too late to walk outside.  I did it again.  I had to head to the basement to get my 2.2 miles for the day.  I decided to complete a Couch-to-5k workout.

I've been thinking about running ever since I started walking a week ago.  I never used to be a runner.  I still don't know if I can actually call myself a runner, but I have completed Couch-to-5k before (love it) and have completed several 5ks and logged many miles training.

I love running.  I hate running.  I love running.  I hate running.

For several years, I've had an imaginary goal for myself.  I'm going to call it imaginary because I have never completed it.... My goal was to complete a half marathon before I was 30.  Well.... missed that one.  But goals are living and breathing aren't they - they have to evolve.

While I've been walking each day I've had this random hairy goal pop into my head.  What if I participate in another Christ Walk - which I fully intend to do - but I RUN the miles each day......  As soon as I typed that my stomach flipped.

Friends... tell me what you think...  Is that ridiculous...?  That means 40 days of running.  No rest.... If that is ridiculous, please tell me.  Maybe we can alter that 'in development' goal.

I still really want to complete a half marathon.  And instead of feeling like I've failed by not completing one before I was 30, I'm going to take the stance that accomplishing this goal will be even more impressive AFTER 30.

I really enjoyed my run last night.  I pushed hard at the end to make sure I hit my 2.2 miles.  I was running at a faster pace than my usual and I'm not sure if my lungs were on fire or the Spirit was awake inside of me.... :)  I was very proud to check it off my list.

Oh.... I mentioned yesterday, wondering if I would be able to run 2.2 and wake up and walk 2.2.  Well, I didn't.  My day got away from me and at about 9:30 tonight I was faced with the treadmill again.  Today is the closest I've gotten to not completing my miles.  I know if I don't complete it each day that I'll be forgiven - I also know that if I don't at least try each day I won't be happy with myself.  I've given up on several things before and this isn't something I want to add to that list.

I had some pretty good motivation.  Day Eight talks about doubt.  Each day, I've been writing the scriptures from the day on a scrap piece of paper and carrying them with me the whole time I walk.  Today, I was a little pressed for time and read while I was walking my warm up.  I did write something - just not as completely as I had been.  Today, I wrote -

Doubt.

and...

With man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.

Yep, I can get 2.2 miles every day.

Christ Walk - Day Seven

Yesterday was an interesting walk.  It did cool off in the evening but I wasn't stoked about going to walk.  I was tired.... My legs hurt... I didn't feel like I had a focus.... Seth really encouraged me to just get out there and do it.

He has been proud of me and is pushing me forward.

I walked up and down and up and down the driveway.  It wasn't as exciting as exploring the dirt.

I wrote a few days ago that I was done body shaming myself.  I'm not body shaming individual parts of me but today I was frustrated with myself.  I was very snacky and felt like I didn't make the best choices.  I know I've had worse days but today I was hard on myself.  A good friend of mine told me that we have to work for the body we want.  For some people, I feel like that isn't very challenging.  That was me up until about 8 years ago.  I've never had to pay a lot of attention to what I eat or how much I workout.  If I wanted to feel better and lose a little weight all I had to do was make a few changes.  This is no longer the case.  A switch flipped in my body when I turned 30.  I know.... I've heard from many friends that 30 is nothing when it comes to how your body changes....

I stress about this stuff.  How lucky am I, though....?  One of my biggest stresses is what I'm writing about here.  Worrying about how I've treated myself and how I feel.  Good grief.  It seems silly.  But big or small it is something that I'm dealing with often.

Day Seven is actually titled "Stress".  I told my mom the other day that sometimes I feel like this book is blank inside until I open it.  That it almost feels like anybody could open it up to page 30 and it would say something different.  It's being written for me as I go and with the challenges I'm facing.

"Stress has a tendency to keep us from communicating with God.... Stress is bad for your relationship with God, for your health, and probably for your family, too."

I'm frustrated because I feel like I've had so much positive insight and self talk in the first few days of my Christ Walk and now here I am battling myself again.  Shouldn't my problems be solving themselves by now?!  Listen to this...

"Sometimes when we are trying our hardest to stay focused and Christ-centered, it seems that there are even more stressful situations being thrown at us."

#truth

I hate to use the trend here - but it was the first thing that popped into my head....

I have felt like several little personal battles have been plaguing me from the beginning of this walk.  I'm accepting all of these as tests to make my journey even more important and trying to believe that this means this really will be the journey that changes my life forever.

I have tried to better my health many times.  Always for vanity.  I don't have any illnesses.  My blood work shows no issues.  But I'm not always happy with myself.  So when I decide that I'm going to make a change it's so I feel better about myself - usually by looking better.  I have done this and that and this and that and usually have great success - but always fall back.

"Discipline takes practice and repetition.  You must do things over and over to make them part of how you live your life.  Research shows that it takes a new discipline being repeated regularly for about six months to become a habit, and even then we still can slip up."

"The good thing is that God is always there to catch us."

He's catching me right now.

I've already been afraid of what life will look like after this 40 day walk.  Will I be able to continue with my 'new life'.  How am I going to keep that focus?  I haven't made a plan for this yet but it crosses my mind every day.

I still haven't walked.  I'm currently standing at 11,821 steps.  That means by the time I go to bed I need to have around 17,000 steps.  Yikes.  I need to make a change.  I need to wake up and get to walking.  Start my day on the right foot, literally.

Will I be able to do that tomorrow....?  Forward planning, I know what my day looks like for the most part... I know what the weather will be like... But will I be able to walk around 5,000 steps starting around 9pm and then wake up before 6 to do it again....?

Stay tuned.

Christ Walk - Day Six.

Last night was probably my least favorite walk.  It was late, I was in the basement, and it felt like it took forever to hit 2.2 miles.  It doesn't help that I could watch each hundredth of a mile tick by while walking.

I couldn't stand how long it was taking so kicked it up and jogged a good chunk of it.  Success.  

Today, I was shocked to wake up to rain again.  I got a late start on the day and I still haven't had much luck getting a real good day going.  I'm tired.  My mind is tired.  My legs hurt.  I have several things to accomplish around the house but none that I am looking forward to completing.  You know what happens then...?  I distract myself - in the cabinets, the fridge, my phone.  I got tired and lost my focus today.  

Ironically enough, Day Six in Christ Walk talks about how we turn to our vices before turning to God in order to cope. "We look for solace in food or alcohol or drugs in an attempt to manage our spiritual, mental, or physical distress.... I learned to replace my bad habits with healthier habits of prayer, physical exercise, and mental exercise."

We went from rain, to busy lunch/naptime, to hot hot outside.  I told Seth I was going to walk this evening when it cools off.  He said it isn't going to cool off.  I have already walked 1000 intentional steps today but don't feel like they even count.

I'm borderline lost today.  I think the first few days shed so much light and now the obstacles are coming and I'm facing some things inside that haven't gotten a grip on yet.  I guess I need to make that my prayer focus and not forget Philippians 4:6...

Christ Walk - Day Five. Whoops.

It is 9:30 at night and I haven't walked yet.

I woke up this morning to rain - after it rained all night long - and the rain continued through the better part of the morning.  I really thought I would enjoy going out for a walk in the rain but it was often pouring and almost always lightning.... I figured staying inside might be a better idea.

But rainy days bring on a little bit of slothing.  I went about my morning slowly and enjoyed the rain.  I'll walk later.

My slothy morning led me into a somewhat slothy kind of day.  I did a lot of work on the computer and had to prepare for my church board meeting tonight but there wasn't much up and at it happening for me.  I figured I would walk after the meeting....

Day Five talks about how we've taken the idea of "me time" and turned it into "me all the time".  "Live a life that is called for service to others..."

Well, as a mom, I feel like I'm always being called for service to others.... I'm always responding to the needs of my children.  Snack. Drink. Help. Where is this? Can I? Will you? Wipe me? Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.

I really cannot complain.  You may not know this, but my boys are awesome.  They are very smart, very funny, very helpful, very loving.  We are very proud.  It's interesting how in the last five days I feel like the boys are showing even more love towards me.  Maybe they are seeing a softer side of me...

I have to stop there - I can talk and tell stories about my boys for a very long time.  Where was I?  Life called for service.

Well, aside from serving the boys and my family, I have been called to service for our church. Not quite three years ago, I remember telling my mom that I was wanting to get more involved in the outside world somehow.... get involved in the community.  My mom has served on the church board, my dad on the school board and hospital board... Maybe I needed to try to find a way to get involved.

Enter: God.  Probably only a couple of months after I had been feeling like I should get involved somehow, I was approached at church to see if I was interested in taking over the role of Treasurer.

Woah, God... Slow down.  I'm not sure I am capable of THAT.  Day Five says "God is revealed to all of us at different points in our lives and in different ways."  After pondering back and forth and learning more about the responsibilities I decided that yes, I could handle that.  I had just asked for an opportunity to be more involved in the community and look what landed on my plate.

I am almost two years into my service on the church board as treasurer and I am constantly learning more.  I love that I have been able to get involved in the business behind the church.  Not just the numbers but the planning and assisting our church.

I really enjoyed accounting when I was in high school - not just because my aunt taught the class - but I really loved the numbers and the forms and the rules.  There isn't wiggle room - it's right or wrong.  My aunt always thought I should go into accounting but I wasn't convinced.  Numbers aren't for everyone and I'm not great at math but I'm pretty decent at keeping the books and knowing how it should all work out.  I would like to think of this as one of my gifts.  And now I get to use it to help serve the Lord.....

Sigh.... Now it's almost 10 o'clock and I haven't walked yet.  I AM GOING TO WALK.  I wish I could be walking outside but it's officially dark and I would very likely break my ankle if I attempted a walk in the dark.  Luckily for me, we have a treadmill.  It lives in our basement and I am very convinced that this is going to be my least favorite walk so far.  10pm in basement.  Surrounded by concrete.

I could very easily decide not to walk and just tack it onto tomorrow.... But I really have been called to do this walk and just yesterday I read the following - "You must follow exactly the path that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live, and that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land that you are to possess."

2.2 miles.  And, go.

Christ Walk - Day Four. What I love about a Sunday...

I woke up this morning in a truly tangled mess of emotions.  Everything was amuck. I took my book outside to read - Day Four talks a lot about different types of walking.  After a few paragraphs I gave up on the book.  My state of mind had NO desire to read about leisure walking vs. speed walking..... NOT the time book.  Not the time.

Not long after I woke up with the tangled mess of emotions, it was almost all lifted.  Resolution came so quickly and so respectfully that it truly had to be a product of my prayers from yesterday's Christ Walk.  There is no other explanation.

Wonderful news - my entire Sunday wouldn't be muddied by the mess.

Sundays are my favorites.  They can be a little challenging because I have to get up and get everyone ready for church and the entire day.  We need to leave by 10 to get to 11 church (9 on Sunday school days).  This doesn't sound like it should be very challenging but I also have the urge to lay back and enjoy a somewhat lazy Sunday morning and make breakfast.  Next thing I know, I'm usually scrambling a little.  We always make it to church on time and then we get to spend the rest of the Sunday at my parents' house.  These are my favorite days.  They are so good for my heart.

I knew I wasn't going to be doing my Christ Walk before church and didn't really think I would want to do it at my parents' today - though I know I WILL be doing one there.  I want to walk around that property and just feel joyful.  But today, I knew I was going to have to tackle my walk whenever I got home.

I arrived back home around 5 and fiddled around the house.  I didn't even get started on my Christ Walk until around 6:30.  I read my chapter and found so much more in it than just the explanation of types of walking like I had discovered earlier this morning.

Do you know what is interesting.... I started this book on a Thursday.  I have always been the Monday start-up type.... I'm going to start eating better... on Monday.... I'm going to start working out... on Monday.  Well I started this book on a Thursday and the very first mention of Sundays in this book just so happened to be on a Sunday for me.

The chapter talks about how Americans have forgotten to have a day of rest.  "Sundays have become the day to catch up on everything else because we are too busy being busy.  This is a shame for a number of reasons.  One, our bodies need rest.  Two, the Lord directed us to have a day of rest.  And three, when was the last time we just went out and enjoyed being out, walking with our families for the enjoyment of spending time together?  Leave the housework, yard work and shopping for another day.  They will be there waiting for you; your family may not."

My Christ Walks so far have definitely been more on the fitness side of walking.  Pushing myself and climbing some hills and different terrain.  Today was a day for leisure - the day of rest.  Today was a day to have my family a part of this.

"Leisure walking is just as it sounds: walking for the pleasure of walking."

Believe it or not, tonight was probably the quickest the steps showed up on my pedometer.  Yesterday, my walk felt like it took forever.  Tonight, my walk lasted around an hour or so but it was so easy to get the steps.

It was so nice to have all of my boys around.  It didn't turn out to be us all walking together but everyone was outside the whole time I was walking.  We had a lot of family interaction back and forth to the shed, down to the dirt lake, and it was just a beautiful end to a Sunday that started in a much different place.

The spiritual growth portion probably wasn't the heaviest - but this walk was great for my soul. Just like a Sunday.