Little Annie Dog - Simply the Best

Almost 11 months ago I started composing a post for this blog.... It has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year.  Today, I'm publishing it.  Today, I said goodbye to my sweetest little Annie dog.  It has been a very long road for all of us and today it ended. 

About two weeks ago, we decided it was best to put Annie down.  She had made some progress but really had plateaued and after a lot of thinking and discussing with the vet, I decided it was best to put her down.  Life was busy and I didn't want to face it so I put it off and put it off.  Today was the day.  I didn't wake up with plans on doing it today but there really was no better time...

So we went to go see Ms. Annie.  I hadn't seen in her months and months.  I was afraid she would have forgotten me.  But she didn't.  She came in looking like her adorable little self with a fresh little haircut and her sweet "school picture" haircut on her ears.  She got excited to see me and squirmed around with me.  I brought her peanut butter... :)  I fed her peanut butter and then I held her.  Not long after she really calmed down.  I just held my little Annie dog...

I held her.  I loved her.  I told her I was sorry and that I missed her so much.  Now, my sweet little Annie is gone.

I've never had a dog that I loved.  I'm not super crazy about animals.  But there was no way a person would NOT love Annie.  She had spunk and personality and was the best little dog. Ever.

I don't know if I'll have another dog of my own.  Family dogs... sure.  I KNOW I won't have another dog like Annie.  But maybe someday Annie will send me another little gift that I can love.

The unpublished post:

On October 4th, 2009, I was sitting alone in our house, resting after church.  Suddenly there was a ruckus at the front door.  I walked over to see a tiny little white dog looking through the front door.  I opened the door and she bolted back across the lawn down towards the road. 

About 30 minutes later, here came this little white dog scratching at the door again.  I got some lunch meat out of the fridge, opened the door and lured her in.  I picked up the tiny little dog to see she was covered in fleas and only wearing a little cat collar with a little bell on it.  No information.

I sat outside with the dog for a long time while posting on Facebook and chatting with Seth about the dog.  We thought maybe it was a neighbor's dog so I took her to a couple houses nearby but no one knew the dog.  We put her on Pet Patrol the next day.  We took her to a couple of the local vets to see if they knew the little dog.  Nobody knew her.  Finally, at the last vet, Seth said clean her up, get her healthy and we'll take her back home.

We had absolutely no desire to have an inside dog.  I've never wanted one.  I like big outside dogs.  We were going to find a home for this little thing.  Slowly though, I was falling for this little dog.  My parents were falling for her, too.  For a while, my parents thought about keeping her.  She had such a sweet heart and loads of personality.  She was even already housebroken. 

Lots of people wanted to know what kind of dog Annie was.  I was never able to get a clear answer since she showed up stray.  She looked a bit Maltese.  The vets said a bit Maltese, a bit terrier, a bit poodle.  I decided on this - Annie was 100% mixed breed. 

About a week after she showed up, I woke up feeling a bit scratchy in my throat.  About 12 hours later I was in a full blown fever and achy-flu symptoms.  Shortly after that, I was in the ER testing positive for the dreaded swine.  Seth doesn't like the term swine flu (farmers...) - H1N1.

I came home from the hospital and quarantined myself in another room of the house to keep Seth flu-free.  The only thing to keep my company was this little dog.  This sealed the deal.  We named her Annie.  Little Orphan Annie.

We need to make this official.  One day, I tucked Annie into my purse and walked into the store to buy her food, a bed, and a collar.  Ours.

Suddenly, my family was more excited to see Annie visit than to see me!  She made everyone happy.
 

About a year and a half later, Little Wyatt showed up.  Followed a couple years later by Mister Charlie.  Slowly but surely, the loads of pictures I had of sweet Annie were replaced by my sweet babies.  But she was still part of the family.  Maybe she played the role of the step child on occasion, but I always tried to make a point to show her the love and affection she deserved.

Of course, there were times that having this dog was completely maddening.  She's solid white.  And a dainty little thing.  But she eats cow droppings and horse droppings and rolls in nasty smells as much as any regular ol' farm dog.  She gets dirty!  And she's got this fluffy little white coat that attracts cockleburs like you would not believe.  I can't even tell you how many of these I've had to pick out of Annie's "beard" or stepped on while walking across the living room floor.... Annie's little "land mines"...

Last Friday, there was a very unfortunate incident where Annie dog landed badly on her back from a fall.  The noise was one I had never heard her make before and immediately I worried she broke her leg or something.  I NEVER would have imagined what happened to her.  She didn't seem to be moving her back legs at all.  Not long after the incident, Seth called the vet and before long we were headed into town with Annie.  She couldn't sit, she couldn't walk.  X-rays didn't show any issues so it became apparent this was likely a neurological issue.  I sat on the floor in the vet with my little dog fighting tears the whole time.

Doc decided, in the off chance this could be a pinched nerve, we should give her steroids and other medications to calm her down, ease any pain, and see if any inflammation would calm down and function of her back legs be restored.

No such luck. 

In the meantime, a friend of mine mentioned Wheels for dogs.  My heart lifted and I felt hope that I could get Annie back.  She might be a wheelie dog, but she would rock those wheels with more personality than any dog could.  I spoke with the vet and he felt there were pros and cons to Annie using the wheels.

Annie remained at the vet for the weekend to continue treatment to see if any function could be restored.

The entire time she was gone I thought about the possibility of the wheels.  How would she handle the bathroom situation.  Would her legs be strong enough.  Would she become more of a challenge for my hands that already felt full of my two children and other responsibilities.

This has been an agonizing weekend.  I miss having her in the house so much.  Every time I hear a sound Annie would generally respond to, I instinctively wait for her response.  I heard coyotes in the field howling the other night and waited for Annie's growls and shrill bark to wake me, annoyed.  It didn't happen.

I've walked into the house wanting to send Wyatt to let her out of the bathroom and hear the children squeal for her.  "NANNY!"  "NEEEEE!"  Hasn't happened.

When she came home on Monday, I was immediately faced with the realization that my Annie wasn't the same and probably wouldn't ever be the same.  She couldn't use the bathroom on her own... She wasn't comfortable in her new paralyzed state.  We tried the chiropractor like a friend suggested.  The vet  thought it would be best to avoid the chiropractor in this delicate state.

How I am supposed to take care of my Annie dog...?  I have two children who take up so much of my time.  How will I find the time to take Annie outside to manually express every time she needs to go to the bathroom.  Is this fair to Annie...?

In an unbelievably kind gesture, the vet offered his services, free of charge, to give Annie the best shot at recovery.  This is where she has remained for nearly a year.... She made progress, she was able to pull herself around... but after a period of time, it became clear that she wouldn't be making any more progress.

There's not enough room or the proper words to honor this amazing little dog. I wish all of you could see the way she bounced through the grass.  Man, she could leap.  And this little 10 pound dog looked so fun and full of life as she ran like a crazy with her butt tucked down real low to get as much speed as she could without actually lifting off into flight.

My heart is broken.  I've never had a dog that was just mine.  This dog was mine.  She found me.  She picked me.  She showed up that Sunday and never left.  I never wanted a little fluffy dog.  And I know you can't keep dogs forever.  But if there's any dog that I would pick for myself it would be Annie.  And I would pick her over and over and over again.  Damn I miss her.

Bless your sweet, beautiful heart Annie.

 

April showers bring.... trips to the ER with Charlie.

That might not be entirely accurate.  I believe it was Mother's Day weekend last year.  There were storms brewing and Charlie was battling a cold.  When Charlie was just two weeks old, he got RSV.  Most likely because of that, anytime he even gets a simple cold, he ends up with labored breathing and requires breathing treatments.  Last year, Mother's Day weekend, was one of his first real challenges with the labored breathing.  It was getting close to night and I was getting worried so decided it was best to take him to the ER.

Of course, we were under a thunderstorm warming that turned into a tornado warning that turned into a tornado in the area of the hospital and the area around our home.  Charlie and I were safe in the ER - having been evacuated to the center of the hospital.  Wyatt and Daddy-o at home were "safe" in our cellar, though the experience was a rather traumatic one for both.

We didn't have power the rest of the night so we ended up at my parents' house to spend the night. 

So, in true Charlie fashion, we were under a thunderstorm warning and he had three breathing treatments yesterday.  The problem was - the breathing treatments didn't seem to be doing that much for him yesterday.  Labored breathing, retractions, small fever.... It was about 5:30 when I gave him a breathing treatment.  Around 6 he had this honking cough.... That wasn't anything I had heard before.  Even after the breathing treatments he was still really labored.  So I put a call in to my doctor. 

Charlie's breathing treatment before the ER

At the exact moment that "I think you should go to the ER" the wind picked up like mad and began HOWLING through the house...  It was a seen of motherly chaos as I struggled to hear the doctor through my cell phone in an open-windowed house, howling with wind, Charlie crying for me to turn on another Daniel Tiger, Wyatt realizing that I was worried - following me around asking/telling me how he was going to help me get everything ready for dinner (bless his beautiful heart), me realizing the sound machine was still also howling from naptime, my mouth still half numb from the dental work I had just a couple of hours earlier, all while tripping over toys and piles of laundry.

Life in a nutshell.  But life is good.

We headed to the ER.  Half numb mouth, Charlie peacefully watching Alvin and the Chipmunks in the back.  The nurse was actually the same nursing from my OB when I was pregnant with Wyatt and it was great to see her again.  Charlie was a bit of a challenge.  He has grown out of his hate for doctor's offices but he clearly didn't want anyone fiddling with him last night.  As soon as we sat down they tried to put oxygen in his nose.  Charlie hulked it immediately out of there.  They said they needed to tape it.  Um... yeah.  Tape.  That'll hold it...!  I tried to keep Charlie from yanking it out but sure enough... Charlie refused the oxygen.

Then they were trying to get his pulse ox - not on his finger.  Definitely not.  So they did it on his toe.  That wasn't all that pleasant for him either - how dare you touch my BIG TOE!  But they got a reading.  I believe it was 92...

They decided they wanted to do a chest x-ray, test for RSV and flu and go from there.  Chest x-ray.... How is THAT going to work.  Charlie turned beat red and SCREAMED anytime someone touched him.  All while I was trying to be the strongest momma I could and restrain him from smacking a nurse.  (Only kidding, Charlie is a gent.  He doesn't hit the ladies...)

I had the lovely task of holding Charlie while they did the x-ray.  He was very content on my lap until the put a board between the two of us.  The tech told me to hold his shoulders back.  That meant holding his shoulders, keep him in the plus sign, keep his head out of the way, keep yourself out of the way.  But amazingly, we got a great x-ray.  Both views, great. 

Charlie.  Is.  Strong.  This was very obvious to everyone who encountered him.  They also marveled at his size.  Charlie is a whopper at 36 pounds - just over two years.  And I. LOVE IT.  He is solid and strong and handsome and lean and I was actually finding humor in his size and strength while he fought everything the doctor and nurses threw his way.

X-ray - clear.  RSV and flu - negative.  Doctor was leaning towards viral bronchiolitis most likely from being susceptible after having RSV at such a young age.  There may also be some croup. 

Now, we are experts at breathing treatments at home.  Charlie doesn't fight them.  He loves to hold the inhaler piece and turn the machine on by himself.  He does this like a champ.  In the ER, Charlie fights like a champ against breathing treatments.  That was the longest treatment of my life. And Charlie's life.  And probably the nurse's life!  Hold his arms, hold his head, hold his legs - don't kick the nurse!  He screamed and was red and did not make it simple.  He was definitely exercising his lungs.  Big, strong Charlie!

After all the treatments and tests, Charlie settled into me with my phone watching YouTube videos.  He had exhausted himself.

As I sat there, I thought of a couple of friends with children who had really bad ear infections - to the point of rupture.  I remember Charlie poking his ears yesterday.  So, with hesitation, I asked the nurse if she could have the doctor look in his ears, since we were there.... 

Charlie was a perfect gentleman.  He sat there and didn't move a bit while the doctor examined both of ears and informed us that they looked great.

Whew........... Everything was winding down.

They wanted to give a steroid in the case of croup, to help the airway.  The doctor asked if I wanted to personally give it to him at the hospital or take it home.  I opted for taking it and giving it to him at home.

We said our goodbyes and made our way to the door - the nurse followed and then informed me "The steroids will likely keep him up and can even cause some behavioral problems, but it would be best to give them tonight anyway to go on and settle the airways.  It'll be better that way even if he IS awake all night."

..............................................Uh, excuse me...?

But like a good little momma, I gave Charlie the medicine as soon as we got to the car.  He fell asleep on the way home.  Relaxed for a little bit at home once we got there and then quickly drifted off to sleep a little past bedtime at 9.

I'm an essential oil momma.... and knowing what the nurse said, I decided to diffuse some good sleepy time oils in the room that night. 

Charlie slept all night.

This morning, Charlie's breathing seems to have calmed.  He coughed his little head off when he woke up, but he is being my sweet, darling little Charlie.  Watching me with excitement as I blow up two balloons for him.  Requesting episodes of Daniel Tiger over and over.

I'm very thankful for the ER doctor and nurse that we had.  It definitely eased my mind going into the evening and I was very confident in the care they gave us and the care that I could provide him at home.

The storm missed us yesterday.

"You're not a bad mom.... You're not a bad mom...."

Repeat after me.... "You are not a bad mom...."

I know I'm not a bad mom.  I think I'm pretty standard when it comes to the scale.  But for a few hours today I questioned myself, just a little...

The whole family is battling or recovering from a mean cold - and currently it's taking its toll on the hubs and myself.  We went for a little drive around lunch time to just get out of the house and on our way home from our drive, Charlie and Wyatt both fell asleep in the truck.  Since they only slept about 15-20 minutes, when we got home, I let Charlie play around for a little bit, have a snack and then I planned to put him down for a nap.

Charlie had different plans.  :)  Of course, 15-20 minutes of sleep is PLENTY for a little boy recovering from a cold.... In his mind.  Nonetheless, I put Charlie in bed and sat in his room like I always do, just giving a little company and waiting for him to fall asleep. 

**I've thought about leaving this portion of the story I'm about to tell out, but it's the truth and I know I'm not the only one this could happen to...**

Today, however, I decided it was time for momma to get a little catnap herself - maybe it'll help me recover from this cold...  So I laid down on Wyatt's bed and told Charlie I was going to take a nap, too.  I dozed off...

Ten minutes. Ten minutes is all.  That's all the time that passed.  But when I woke up, Charlie wasn't in his bed.  Sigh.......... Where is that little rascal....

He wasn't in the living room.  He wasn't in the bathroom.  He wasn't in my bedroom.  Then I heard him in the kitchen.... Probably just getting a snack.

I walked in to discover Charlie had pulled the kitchen table chair all the way across the kitchen and had climbed up and opened the medicine cabinet.........................

OHMYGOODNESS!!!!  CHARLES!

He had opened a bottle of chewable antacids and had chewed up but spit out three or four of them.  Then I noticed on the kitchen floor was an open bottle of allergy medicine.  Open.  Pills all over the floor.  Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

"Charlie, did you eat any of these?"  "Yes!"  "Charlie, how many did you eat?"  Charlie starts counting "One, two, three!"

Now.... Charlie answer yes to a lot of things... and he starts counting to a lot of things.... You can't always trust a two year old.... Obviously.

I cleaned up the mess.  Gave him a cup of milk, took him to the living room and turned on a show.  I sat and wondered what to do.... Surely he didn't eat that medicine.... it's hard and I'm sure tastes awful.... Maybe I'll just give him 30 minutes and see how he's doing......  Maybe...

I decided I'd go on and call Poison Control.  I explained the situation to a wonderful nurse, Rachel, and she explained that the allergy medicine he had isn't necessarily a dangerous medicine.  IF Charlie did ingest any of it, it would sort of amp him up - he might get a bit hyper or even irritable or start shaking.  Keep an eye on him and she's going to call and check on us in an hour and probably again later in the evening.

Thank the good Lord, Mr. Charlie is JUST fine.  He has been my normal wonderful little Charlie and I could not be more relieved.  I really have no idea what I would do if something ever happened to either of these boys.

Wonderful Rachel at Poison Control called to check about an hour or so later and then again a few hours after that.  She explained the time frame for any possible side effects would be about two and a half hours after ingesting so she is very certain that we are in the clear.

I called my mom in the midst of the waiting and we tried to decide if I needed to relocate my medicine cabinet....  It has all been cleaned out - old meds trashed - condensed and placed on the highest shelf in the cabinet.

"You're not a bad mom....."  If I hadn't dozed off..........  But me falling asleep isn't the reason Charlie was able to get in the medicine cabinet.  I could have just as easily been using the restroom.  We can't have our eyes on our children 110% of the time... But we can try to eliminate the dangers.  I really didn't imagine Charlie could get into the cabinet.  But clearly, I was wrong.  Also surprising, the allergy medicine he had gotten into had a "childproof" cap on it.  I've seen stories before showing children opening all sorts of "childproof" caps.... and Charlie clearly has this ability as well.  So, don't trust childproof caps, parents.... Put the stuff up HIGH! 

And in case anyone else gets in this pickle.... do not be afraid to call Poison Control.  I've called them twice now in my time as a parent and I have been completely pleased with my experience both times.  They are always so sweet and caring and definitely not judgmental at all.

I hated the experience this afternoon but the outcome was everything I could have hoped for.  I have my handsome, happy little Charlie being his normal sweet self.  And........ that ten minute nap seemed to help.  Either that or the adrenaline after discovering my little rascal in potential danger.... 

Tomorrow is a new day.  Hug your kids.  Hide your meds.  Even better than you think you need to hide them.

BLOG: MIA

Hello Friends and Family!  Well, where has the time gone?!  My last post was October 15th.... It's March 19th...  I hate that I let this thing fall off the face of the Earth again!

A lot of things were happening when I left Poop and Hiccups last... My sweet Annie dog had just had a little incident that left her unable to use her back legs.  :(  The vet so graciously offered to keep her free of charge for as long as it took to get her back together.  He really believes that she will be able to use her legs again, with time and healing!  After Annie's accident, I wrote a long, long post about this sweet dog - almost a little obituary for her.... Well, she's still very much alive and I have that post just saved in the dashboard of my blog.  Something about that unpublished post has kept me away from the blog.

Almost a week ago, I got to attend the Women in Ag conference in Marshall and listened to Jolene Brown speak and share stories and humor of life on the farm.  She said you always need to find the humor in things!  I scribbled on my little note pad "Write more.  BLOG!"  I knew I HAD to get back to this.  Finding the humor in the craziness that is life is so important and I'm going to forget it all if I don't get back to sharing these stories! 

So.  Here I am!  Hopefully I can take the time to sit down and share the funny stories of our crazy, beautiful life!

Now, let's see if I can remember some stories that I've missed.....

Here are a few nuggets I found thanks to the always available Facebook...

"Just picked up a small brown crumb-looking item off the living room floor and smelled it to make sure it wasn't poop.... Sometimes you just can't trust Charlie! ‪#‎tmi‬ ‪#‎momproblems‬ ‪#‎poophappens "

"Seth called and said he finally found a good use for the chain link fence. I knew exactly what I was going to find back there.... the bottle calf. I actually enjoy it and it's a great experience for the kids! Wyatt wants to bring it in the house.... :| "  - This was an interesting little moment in time.  We had a bottle calf in our backyard.  We all enjoyed the experience until it became clear that the calf was only pooping on the deck or the sidewalk... And it was starting to scratch the deck.  It has since been relocated to the comfort of the barn.

"What is this "tax refund" everyone speaks of.....? ‪#‎farmlife "

"Lovely little family night in the barn. Then Wyatt says 'I didn't know you could throw hay so far, Dad!' 'Hey, Mom, guess what I have...? Hay in my pockets...!' "

"Mom, I love you." "I love you, too, Wyatt...!" "But I don't like the girls in my class because they're too girly..."

"Our Valentine's Day tradition.... heart-shaped meatloaf...  I hope my boys remember this forever and end up wanting their wives to do this for them because that's what their mom always did.... "

"My kids haven't officially been weighed in for their 4 and 2 year check-ups.... (I know, I'm slacking...) but I feel like they're huge! According to our scale, Wyatt and Charlie weigh in at 42 and 36 pounds, respectively... Wyatt wears a 4 snuggly... Charlie wears a 2 or 3.... These boys are so awesome. They make me smile and melt my heart every single day.... They also infuriate me nearly every day.... but hey, such is life. And I cannot imagine it without them. ‪#‎proudmomma‬ ‪#‎sappymomma‬ All that's missing here is an adorable photo.... I'll share one soon"

"Ummmm, yikes..? Just found this in Wyatt's take home folder from school.... I'm a little surprised I didn't get pulled aside and asked about this. In case you can't see it - "It's a firepit hospital... it burns people". ‪#‎creepythingskidssay "

"'Uh-Oh!! Hey Mommmma! Sponge-sposby's on!!!'  Spongebobby isn't allowed in the Tyre House. Charlie knows the rules..."

"Hello! My name is Lindsey and I'm turning 30 in a few days. I went to Vegas and all I bought was this big drink and insoles for my high arches.... ‪#‎imgettingold‬ ‪#‎gobigorgohome‬ ‪#‎vegas "

"'Hey mom... can I have some juice..?'  'What kind of juice do you want..?'  'Whatever kind of juice that makes poop come out.'  Hahahah. Maybe he's a little bound up... ‪#‎fouryearolds "

"My good ol' husband is working today - he says it's the first day of the year, you have to do what you're going to do all year. If that's the case, I'll be cleaning the house and picking up toys while diffusing petty toy sharing arguments all year. I guess that'll do... :)  ‪#‎happynewyear "

"Little moments that make our hearts so happy... Tonight we were about to pray at dinner and Wyatt asked if he could say his prayer first - of course! "Come Lord Jesus be our guest and let these gifts to us be blessed. All my exes live in Texas. Texas is the place I really love to be." Nothing like singing a little song to wrap it up. This boy..... "

"Wyatt is full of it this morning. The other day I gave him a carrot and told him it was good for his eyes so he needed to eat it. Last night, we had cooked carrots out of our roast - of which he wasn't so much a fan. This morning he came right up to me and said "Coooooked carrots, aren't good for your eyes.... NOT cooked carrots, are......." He also told me he wanted me to start growing his baby sister in my belly. I told him to go tell his daddy.  Haha!"

Well I think that about wraps it up!  I'll try to do better...... :) ‬