Day Three is going to start with a recap of Day Two:
Yesterday I wrote about not knowing where my focus would be and then finding it. I knew what I needed to pray about but also knew I would have an impossible time getting a straight answer on the issue. There would be no way because it's bigger than just me.
Interestingly enough, my walk was the same way. I knew I was going to walk but couldn't even really decide where I wanted to walk...! I walked out and headed a different direction but really wasn't sure if my path would get me where I was hoping to go. I kind of wandered a bit. I walked beside the bean field and then another direction but it got to be fairly rough terrain so I turned and walked the other way. Then I was getting up into some weeds and wasn't really sure I liked where I was headed. So I headed up towards the shed and then back down to the house and eventually settled back on our dirt "lake".
I walked in circles and talked to God. I kept looking at the scriptures I was given and about half way through the walk I had made my way down to this one:
"Teach them to your children, talking about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise." - Deuteronomy 11:19
I looked up at our house and realized I was down here trying to connect and better myself as a person and as a wife and as a mother but I had left my kids up in the house with the supervision of the iPad and the computer..... I knew I needed to bring my kids to the dirt with me.
Luckily, the boys willingly left their electronics and put on their mud boots to come see all the different dirt. Their favorite dirt was the same as mine. :)
We had a great time and the boys were down at the lake with me for the last half of the walk. I'm so happy I brought them along with me. I led some of the conversation about being a better mother and why I'm doing the Christ Walk but I also just let them wander and lead me around the dirt. We found several different sets of animal tracks - they squished in the wet dirt where the water runs out of the hill - they loved the crunchy dirt where you can peel layers off almost like cardboard... It was a great time out of the house with my boys. Even in that short time, we connected more than we had in a while.
I have plans to bring the husband along on one of my journeys... The whole family on another journey... Likely more than just one.
Now, onto Day Three.
A mysterious alarm on my phone went off and woke me up a little earlier than I would have preferred but instead of falling back to sleep I picked up my book and started reading. I was a bit groggy and just reading words without comprehending all of it. I was already telling myself that I'd have to come back and re-read the chapter. Then, I read this paragraph - "Do not be driven by worries about what others think; worry about what God thinks."
Yeah. That's me.
This line in the book was an entire paragraph. That's all that needed to be said. This chapter probably could've stopped right there and I would've been set. Of course this is something that I've heard before but something about highlighting that single-line paragraph got to me. I re-read part of the chapter and found this also - "We are all creatures of God. We are all made in God's image. Therefore, there is diversity in how we all look, but that does not make any of us less beautiful than the other. We are all amazingly beautiful."
I haven't had very many moments in my life that I remember being excited about the way that I looked and even have some anxiety when getting ready to go out and about. I always see the flaws and the work in progress and I always wonder what others are going to think of me. Can they tell I've put on 5 pounds... 15 pounds... My arms are chubby. My legs are HUGE - why are these muscles so bulky? I have a zit. They're going to be staring at my crusty red zit..! My husband has bared the brunt of these self-criticisms and I know it's one of his least favorite qualities of mine. He thinks I'm unbelievably beautiful. He loves that I'm strong.
In the intro of the book we come up with goals for our 40 day Christ Walk. My mental goal was to speak to myself in a positive way. Don't be hard. Don't give up. Be the sunshine. I am officially DONE trashing myself. I quit. I QUIT. My legs are strong. They are carrying me on this Christ Walk. My arms are strong and I can carry my babies to their beds. It'll be hard to get over the zits.......... But I'll work on it.... :) Body shaming myself is over.
I have been created in His image. He built me. The problems that I have with my body have been created by me. This roller coaster of self-disrespect is the journey that led me here to change my life.
Whew.
This morning I went to Zumba and had an amazing workout. I LOVE Zumba. The music... The people... The challenge... We all push ourselves to the next level and we all support each other. Today we did a new routine to one of my favorite new songs. How perfect does this fit my thoughts and reading for the day..?
"I thank God every day
That I woke up feeling' this way
And I can't help lovin' myself
And I don't need nobody else"
Well, almost perfect.
At Zumba, we pick a poster to be our focus for the day. "I will not be stopped." "I'm doing this for me." "Hustle for that muscle." There is also a blank poster in the middle where we can write whatever we want.
At the beginning of the year, I participated in a weight-loss challenge through Zumba and lost around 10 pounds and as many inches. Weighing in and being measured each week kept me accountable and I am competitive... I wanted to WIN! I got nervous as the challenge ended that I would going to fall back into my old ways because I wasn't going to have to be held accountable. Our teacher was also due to have a baby anytime and my 4-5 times a week Zumba habit was going to be put on hold. So I wrote on the poster. "I will not be stopped. I will beat the old me." - 2/21/16
Our teacher had her baby just about a week after I wrote this and just like I told myself not to, I started to slip.
It wasn't just because I couldn't be at Zumba. We completed building our house and moved in towards the end of March. For me, February through May were kind of a blur.
When Zumba classes started back up, back to class I went and I wrote this on the poster. "My success is in my hands - no one else's...!! - 4/21/16
I did well from April to June - attending Zumba as often as I could. I was getting back on track and then when June hit, I was traveling for a lot of the month and was MIA from all of Zumba. July came around and I was still a no-show for Zumba. Summertime, schedules... It was hard to get myself back into the game.
Finally, the last week of July and I got myself back to Zumba.
When I was finally faced with the posters, I had just started the Christ Walk that day. I knew what I had written in April and knew immediately that my statement was wrong. I wanted to cross it out and replace it, but I didn't. I just drew an arrow down and wrote the following. "My success is in His hands! I can't do it alone." - 7/28/16
That one neon poster holds my entire journey. Seeing that transformation of wanting to beat the old me, thinking it was all up to me, and then realizing it is so much bigger than just me.... I realize that this journey of coming into the Christ Walk has been growing inside of me. Yes, I feel like I just stumbled upon it on Thursday but that is definitely not the case. God has been so present in my life and I haven't even realized it.... I finally figured it out.
We had a great time and the boys were down at the lake with me for the last half of the walk. I'm so happy I brought them along with me. I led some of the conversation about being a better mother and why I'm doing the Christ Walk but I also just let them wander and lead me around the dirt. We found several different sets of animal tracks - they squished in the wet dirt where the water runs out of the hill - they loved the crunchy dirt where you can peel layers off almost like cardboard... It was a great time out of the house with my boys. Even in that short time, we connected more than we had in a while.
I have plans to bring the husband along on one of my journeys... The whole family on another journey... Likely more than just one.
Now, onto Day Three.
A mysterious alarm on my phone went off and woke me up a little earlier than I would have preferred but instead of falling back to sleep I picked up my book and started reading. I was a bit groggy and just reading words without comprehending all of it. I was already telling myself that I'd have to come back and re-read the chapter. Then, I read this paragraph - "Do not be driven by worries about what others think; worry about what God thinks."
Yeah. That's me.
This line in the book was an entire paragraph. That's all that needed to be said. This chapter probably could've stopped right there and I would've been set. Of course this is something that I've heard before but something about highlighting that single-line paragraph got to me. I re-read part of the chapter and found this also - "We are all creatures of God. We are all made in God's image. Therefore, there is diversity in how we all look, but that does not make any of us less beautiful than the other. We are all amazingly beautiful."
I haven't had very many moments in my life that I remember being excited about the way that I looked and even have some anxiety when getting ready to go out and about. I always see the flaws and the work in progress and I always wonder what others are going to think of me. Can they tell I've put on 5 pounds... 15 pounds... My arms are chubby. My legs are HUGE - why are these muscles so bulky? I have a zit. They're going to be staring at my crusty red zit..! My husband has bared the brunt of these self-criticisms and I know it's one of his least favorite qualities of mine. He thinks I'm unbelievably beautiful. He loves that I'm strong.
In the intro of the book we come up with goals for our 40 day Christ Walk. My mental goal was to speak to myself in a positive way. Don't be hard. Don't give up. Be the sunshine. I am officially DONE trashing myself. I quit. I QUIT. My legs are strong. They are carrying me on this Christ Walk. My arms are strong and I can carry my babies to their beds. It'll be hard to get over the zits.......... But I'll work on it.... :) Body shaming myself is over.
I have been created in His image. He built me. The problems that I have with my body have been created by me. This roller coaster of self-disrespect is the journey that led me here to change my life.
Whew.
This morning I went to Zumba and had an amazing workout. I LOVE Zumba. The music... The people... The challenge... We all push ourselves to the next level and we all support each other. Today we did a new routine to one of my favorite new songs. How perfect does this fit my thoughts and reading for the day..?
"I thank God every day
That I woke up feeling' this way
And I can't help lovin' myself
And I don't need nobody else"
Well, almost perfect.
At Zumba, we pick a poster to be our focus for the day. "I will not be stopped." "I'm doing this for me." "Hustle for that muscle." There is also a blank poster in the middle where we can write whatever we want.
At the beginning of the year, I participated in a weight-loss challenge through Zumba and lost around 10 pounds and as many inches. Weighing in and being measured each week kept me accountable and I am competitive... I wanted to WIN! I got nervous as the challenge ended that I would going to fall back into my old ways because I wasn't going to have to be held accountable. Our teacher was also due to have a baby anytime and my 4-5 times a week Zumba habit was going to be put on hold. So I wrote on the poster. "I will not be stopped. I will beat the old me." - 2/21/16
Our teacher had her baby just about a week after I wrote this and just like I told myself not to, I started to slip.
It wasn't just because I couldn't be at Zumba. We completed building our house and moved in towards the end of March. For me, February through May were kind of a blur.
When Zumba classes started back up, back to class I went and I wrote this on the poster. "My success is in my hands - no one else's...!! - 4/21/16
I did well from April to June - attending Zumba as often as I could. I was getting back on track and then when June hit, I was traveling for a lot of the month and was MIA from all of Zumba. July came around and I was still a no-show for Zumba. Summertime, schedules... It was hard to get myself back into the game.
Finally, the last week of July and I got myself back to Zumba.
When I was finally faced with the posters, I had just started the Christ Walk that day. I knew what I had written in April and knew immediately that my statement was wrong. I wanted to cross it out and replace it, but I didn't. I just drew an arrow down and wrote the following. "My success is in His hands! I can't do it alone." - 7/28/16
That one neon poster holds my entire journey. Seeing that transformation of wanting to beat the old me, thinking it was all up to me, and then realizing it is so much bigger than just me.... I realize that this journey of coming into the Christ Walk has been growing inside of me. Yes, I feel like I just stumbled upon it on Thursday but that is definitely not the case. God has been so present in my life and I haven't even realized it.... I finally figured it out.
Christ Walk says you can use other forms of exercise than just walking for your journey. For each 15 minutes of exercise you can give yourself a mile of walking. So by that theory, I would already be at 4 miles for the day. As much as Zumba does for my physical and mental well-being, it isn't the quiet time to myself walking and pondering what I'm doing. I'm making a point to do Intentional Walking each day. At least 2.2 miles of straight-up walking every day.
Today, I'm going to walk those 2.2 miles and love myself. Be proud of myself. But it won't be just me out there walking. I'm bringing God with me.
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